I've not been feeling meself over the past few days... in fact, you could say I've been feeling a little Ruff!
Oh, what a wag I am!
Oh, there's another one. I just can't stop meself. It's joke after joke... I've got thousands of 'em and everyone a gem.
But in all seriousness I'm barking up the wrong tree... sorry.
In all seriousness I do have a dilemma I need to sort out. Somehow I have to make meself into 2 woofers. You see, me humans have only gone and found themselves a second shop location for the TaxAssist business.
Okay, the lease ain't quite signed yet, but it's all agreed and it looks like things are goin' ahead.
'So, what's the dilemma, Barney Boy?' I hear you cry... well maybe you weren't but in me head you were, okay?
Well, let me tell you a little story about when I was walking me human, Richard, to work the other day. We were walking passed (not in, I'm disappointed to say) Union Park in Saughton. There were two school children coming the other way with their mums'. Out of the blue both children pipes up at the same time:
'Hello, Barney... have a good day in the office!'
Richard was flabbergasted. Not a word to 'im but what did he expect. I'm the face of TaxAssist in Corstorphine and a right celeb, too.
Now, finally, to the dilemma...
How am I goin' to cut meself in two to cover the new TaxAssist shop in Stockbridge?
I mean, if it's going to be successful it has have me as the poster boy. Renee is talking about a sort of time share and Richard mentioned getting another woofer, a kind mini me.
Well, no way, no how, not ever... In that order.
So, I have a question for you. How do I, Barney, the Face of TaxAssist Accountants split me time between shops in Corstorphine and Stockbridge?
Answers to the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AccountantsEdinburgh?ref=hl
or as comments to this blog.
Cheers mateys.
See you next time.
Friday, 3 May 2013
Monday, 8 April 2013
Everything you wanted to know about pensions but were too bored to ask
No, don't look at me like that.
I can see your eyes drooping and can almost feel the pressure of your finger on the mouse as you decide to click away from me...
Don't go.
It's really very interesting.
Pensions...
Okay, perhaps not the most auspicious of starts to a blog but me and my team had a meeting this morning about our new pension scheme.
You see, it's time to start thinking about pensions again and Auto Enrolment is coming.
No, I didn't know what it was either but there's new legislation coming which says that by 2017 every employer is going to have to provide a workplace pension and contribute a minimum of 3% of salary.
Hmmm...
Me human, Renee employs 8 people (Although it's my team really. After all I boss them about and get them to give me biscuits) and thought she'd get ahead of the game by creating her workplace pension scheme now, rather than waiting for when small businesses have to join in by law.
So, we had a meeting this morning and I've given my permission to start our scheme off with 2% of salary contributions which means employees don't have to contribute anything if they don't want to (although it would be sensible if they did). We can increase our employers contributions over time.
My team will get the benefit of a pension starting early enough to make a difference and the business gets used to making these contributions, which we're going to make pretty soon in any case.
Now, here's the bit where I get outraged (again). Like I said, this is my team, I run it and I'm part of it but I can't have a pension because... wait for it, you're going to be as outraged as me...
I'M A DOG.
I think that's a blatantly furrist attitude. Just because I've got a tail and get around in the most sensible way (i.e. on four legs rather than the ridiculous two you humans use) apparently I can't get a pension. And I was prepared to put in 4% of me own salary to build me pension pot.
My 4% would have been in the form of doggy biscuits and dental sticks right enough but no discrimination against woofers is what I say.
Anyway, when I put me fur back on and calmed down I had a little reflection to meself. The lady who's putting this scheme together for us gave us some interesting stats:
Sorry, Dickie boy, I know you didn't want me to mention it but then you failed to give me extra chicken last night!
Anyway, if you're interested in sorting out a workplace pension so you're ahead of the game too, give Renee a shout.
reneemackay@taxassist.co.uk or have a look at www.taxassist.co.uk/corstorphine
Could be useful.
P.S. I realise this blog was a bit more serious than usual... normal service will be resumed next week. B
I can see your eyes drooping and can almost feel the pressure of your finger on the mouse as you decide to click away from me...
Don't go.
It's really very interesting.
Pensions...
Okay, perhaps not the most auspicious of starts to a blog but me and my team had a meeting this morning about our new pension scheme.
You see, it's time to start thinking about pensions again and Auto Enrolment is coming.
No, I didn't know what it was either but there's new legislation coming which says that by 2017 every employer is going to have to provide a workplace pension and contribute a minimum of 3% of salary.
Hmmm...
Me human, Renee employs 8 people (Although it's my team really. After all I boss them about and get them to give me biscuits) and thought she'd get ahead of the game by creating her workplace pension scheme now, rather than waiting for when small businesses have to join in by law.
So, we had a meeting this morning and I've given my permission to start our scheme off with 2% of salary contributions which means employees don't have to contribute anything if they don't want to (although it would be sensible if they did). We can increase our employers contributions over time.
My team will get the benefit of a pension starting early enough to make a difference and the business gets used to making these contributions, which we're going to make pretty soon in any case.
Now, here's the bit where I get outraged (again). Like I said, this is my team, I run it and I'm part of it but I can't have a pension because... wait for it, you're going to be as outraged as me...
I'M A DOG.
I think that's a blatantly furrist attitude. Just because I've got a tail and get around in the most sensible way (i.e. on four legs rather than the ridiculous two you humans use) apparently I can't get a pension. And I was prepared to put in 4% of me own salary to build me pension pot.
My 4% would have been in the form of doggy biscuits and dental sticks right enough but no discrimination against woofers is what I say.
Anyway, when I put me fur back on and calmed down I had a little reflection to meself. The lady who's putting this scheme together for us gave us some interesting stats:
- Anyone aged 21 today will retire when they're 75
- Anyone born today will retire when they're 80
Sorry, Dickie boy, I know you didn't want me to mention it but then you failed to give me extra chicken last night!
Anyway, if you're interested in sorting out a workplace pension so you're ahead of the game too, give Renee a shout.
reneemackay@taxassist.co.uk or have a look at www.taxassist.co.uk/corstorphine
Could be useful.
P.S. I realise this blog was a bit more serious than usual... normal service will be resumed next week. B
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
Crowded
Growing a business is fun...
Seems like a lot of hard work to me. I'd rather chase a wet stick around a muddy park all day but there you go, there's no accounting for taste in you humans.
So let me correct meself. According to me human Renee, growing a business is fun. And I have to admit, she's very good at it. In three short years she's built her business from zero to... well I don't know how many off paw, but it's a lot of clients.
That's pretty good going and she still manages to take me for me walks of a morning, lunch time and evening, which I very much appreciate.
The thing is though, growing a business is fun, but it ain't without the occasional challenge.
Take our office for instance. A very nice office it is, light, airy and pretty efficient, too. The fact that the two front windows act like an oven when the sun shines on them and heat the place up like a microwave is neither here nor there. Doesn't effect me much, but then I usually have a nap in the pm... which is a much under-rated pass time by you humans.
Anyway, our office. There are six desks. Great. There are also six people working here, too. Brilliant! Ah, but there's Renee and me other human Richard, as well. It gets mighty crowded when they're all in the office together. I mean I hardly have room to stretch out and a friendly swish of me tail can cause havoc.
So, what's to be done?
Well, Renee could stop recruiting new clients. Hmmm... the words snowball and hell spring to mind. We get two people sat sitting at each desk. Nope, not really an option, either, they'd be friendly but it would be none too efficient.
Or we could find a second place! Do you know I really think I've hit on a master plan. Sometimes me genius astounds even meself.
Now, Renee will tell you she's been looking for a new place for a while and that may be the case. But now I'm on the case. If any of you lovely people out there in Small Business World know of a retail property for rent or sale in Stockbridge, Edinburgh (about 700 - 100 square feet) jump on Facebook Tax Assist West Edinburgh (http://www.facebook.com/AccountantsEdinburgh?ref=hl) and let Renee know...
But be sure to tell her it's because of me. I'm sure to get an extra slice of chicken for me tea.
Seems like a lot of hard work to me. I'd rather chase a wet stick around a muddy park all day but there you go, there's no accounting for taste in you humans.
So let me correct meself. According to me human Renee, growing a business is fun. And I have to admit, she's very good at it. In three short years she's built her business from zero to... well I don't know how many off paw, but it's a lot of clients.
That's pretty good going and she still manages to take me for me walks of a morning, lunch time and evening, which I very much appreciate.
The thing is though, growing a business is fun, but it ain't without the occasional challenge.
Take our office for instance. A very nice office it is, light, airy and pretty efficient, too. The fact that the two front windows act like an oven when the sun shines on them and heat the place up like a microwave is neither here nor there. Doesn't effect me much, but then I usually have a nap in the pm... which is a much under-rated pass time by you humans.
Anyway, our office. There are six desks. Great. There are also six people working here, too. Brilliant! Ah, but there's Renee and me other human Richard, as well. It gets mighty crowded when they're all in the office together. I mean I hardly have room to stretch out and a friendly swish of me tail can cause havoc.
So, what's to be done?
Well, Renee could stop recruiting new clients. Hmmm... the words snowball and hell spring to mind. We get two people sat sitting at each desk. Nope, not really an option, either, they'd be friendly but it would be none too efficient.
Or we could find a second place! Do you know I really think I've hit on a master plan. Sometimes me genius astounds even meself.
Now, Renee will tell you she's been looking for a new place for a while and that may be the case. But now I'm on the case. If any of you lovely people out there in Small Business World know of a retail property for rent or sale in Stockbridge, Edinburgh (about 700 - 100 square feet) jump on Facebook Tax Assist West Edinburgh (http://www.facebook.com/AccountantsEdinburgh?ref=hl) and let Renee know...
But be sure to tell her it's because of me. I'm sure to get an extra slice of chicken for me tea.
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
I'm Outraged... as usual
Oy oy me old muckers. I'm back; after quite an absence I'm blogging again.
I blame me human Richard. You see I don't do the actual typing meself... I have a servant (Richard) to do it for me. You never know what you might catch from an unsanitised keyboard... especially after he's been tickling the keys.
Anyway, I was inspired to write (well, dictate) because when I tried to get on the bus the other day me human was charged £1.50. Yes! £1.50. Not £1.40. £1.50.
The fares on Lothian Buses went up to £1.50 on 24th March and I found myself outraged.
(I neatly sidestepped the fact that, as a woofer, I don't actually pay. I thought to meself: why spoil a good story by being troubled with the facts?)
Anyway, we got away with it because Renee had an extra 10p in the depths of her pockets. There'd have been no chance if it had been Richard, who doesn't carry your actual cash.
So, there I was with me fur bristling and a growl deep in me throat. I can't say too many people were terribly scared, in fact, most of them were laughing at me. Nevertheless, outraged I was. How dare they put up the fare by 10p? I suppose it was because they need money to pay for the trams.
And that set me off in another direction. The trams! What on Earth is going on there? What with pictures of politicians all smiling and happy on the first test run... which seemed to me to be about 100 yards along one tiny section of track. Big deal.
And then the price of a first class stamp! 60p? 60p! For delivering a tiny piece of paper anywhere in the UK. It's outrageous. I was outraged.
But then I got to thinking. What was I complaining about? All of these things still represent the bargain of the century.
Think about it this way: let's just see how far you get on your £1.50 taxi ride. You can imagine it can't you. 'Take me into town as far as £1.50 will go.'
I think you'll find you have a fairly short journey.
And then 60p for a stamp. To anywhere! Try delivering that yourself for the same price.
So, I've decided only to outraged at certain things (like a lack of biscuits) and I'm going to try and recognise value for money where I see it.
Speaking of which, you can always try www.taxassist.co.uk/corstorphine for real value for money.
See what I did there?
I blame me human Richard. You see I don't do the actual typing meself... I have a servant (Richard) to do it for me. You never know what you might catch from an unsanitised keyboard... especially after he's been tickling the keys.
Anyway, I was inspired to write (well, dictate) because when I tried to get on the bus the other day me human was charged £1.50. Yes! £1.50. Not £1.40. £1.50.
The fares on Lothian Buses went up to £1.50 on 24th March and I found myself outraged.
(I neatly sidestepped the fact that, as a woofer, I don't actually pay. I thought to meself: why spoil a good story by being troubled with the facts?)
Anyway, we got away with it because Renee had an extra 10p in the depths of her pockets. There'd have been no chance if it had been Richard, who doesn't carry your actual cash.
So, there I was with me fur bristling and a growl deep in me throat. I can't say too many people were terribly scared, in fact, most of them were laughing at me. Nevertheless, outraged I was. How dare they put up the fare by 10p? I suppose it was because they need money to pay for the trams.
And that set me off in another direction. The trams! What on Earth is going on there? What with pictures of politicians all smiling and happy on the first test run... which seemed to me to be about 100 yards along one tiny section of track. Big deal.
And then the price of a first class stamp! 60p? 60p! For delivering a tiny piece of paper anywhere in the UK. It's outrageous. I was outraged.
But then I got to thinking. What was I complaining about? All of these things still represent the bargain of the century.
Think about it this way: let's just see how far you get on your £1.50 taxi ride. You can imagine it can't you. 'Take me into town as far as £1.50 will go.'
I think you'll find you have a fairly short journey.
And then 60p for a stamp. To anywhere! Try delivering that yourself for the same price.
So, I've decided only to outraged at certain things (like a lack of biscuits) and I'm going to try and recognise value for money where I see it.
Speaking of which, you can always try www.taxassist.co.uk/corstorphine for real value for money.
See what I did there?
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Checking my emails
Oy oy me old muckers... how's tricks?
I always take me humans for a nice long walk on a Saturday... usually Braid Valley Park (in the river), through the Hermitage of Braid (in the river), across the observatory through Grange and down to Holyrood where I swim in the conveniently placed doggy swimming pools, where I usually get me picture taken by my adoring fans... or tourists to you.
Oh, the things I do for the Edinburgh tourist industry.
Now, I have to say, me humans sometimes get the hump with me 'cos the journey takes a bit longer than it should.
That's because I have to check me emails on the way round. It's not my fault they misinterpret this as sniffing lamposts, wheelie bins, other bins, walls, gate posts, sometimes people, columns, park benches, rocks and railings.
But if some dog has been good enough to leave a message then it's the very least I can do to read it and then reply, although I have to say that replying at the end of the walk when I can only squeeze out a few drops is more difficult than at the start when me bladder is full.
Anyway, I can't see what they get so annoyed about. I often hear me human Renee saying to me other human 'what are you doing now?'
The reply might be a variety of things: 'texting me mates' or 'checking me emails' or 'responding to an email from...' or 'reading the news.
I mean, that's not annoying is it?
And then it happens in reverse and Renee is on her 'phone looking at Facebook or Twitter and it's Richard's turn to ask what she's up to.
How often, you important people out there, are you in a meeting and someone has put their 'phone on silent but haven't switched off the vibrate? Now that's annoying. Do you ever do it to anyone else? Get half way through a nice chat and then start looking at your 'phone?
No?
Not sure I believe you and I'm certainly going to keep checking my messages!
I always take me humans for a nice long walk on a Saturday... usually Braid Valley Park (in the river), through the Hermitage of Braid (in the river), across the observatory through Grange and down to Holyrood where I swim in the conveniently placed doggy swimming pools, where I usually get me picture taken by my adoring fans... or tourists to you.
Oh, the things I do for the Edinburgh tourist industry.
Now, I have to say, me humans sometimes get the hump with me 'cos the journey takes a bit longer than it should.
That's because I have to check me emails on the way round. It's not my fault they misinterpret this as sniffing lamposts, wheelie bins, other bins, walls, gate posts, sometimes people, columns, park benches, rocks and railings.
But if some dog has been good enough to leave a message then it's the very least I can do to read it and then reply, although I have to say that replying at the end of the walk when I can only squeeze out a few drops is more difficult than at the start when me bladder is full.
Anyway, I can't see what they get so annoyed about. I often hear me human Renee saying to me other human 'what are you doing now?'
The reply might be a variety of things: 'texting me mates' or 'checking me emails' or 'responding to an email from...' or 'reading the news.
I mean, that's not annoying is it?
And then it happens in reverse and Renee is on her 'phone looking at Facebook or Twitter and it's Richard's turn to ask what she's up to.
How often, you important people out there, are you in a meeting and someone has put their 'phone on silent but haven't switched off the vibrate? Now that's annoying. Do you ever do it to anyone else? Get half way through a nice chat and then start looking at your 'phone?
No?
Not sure I believe you and I'm certainly going to keep checking my messages!
Monday, 27 August 2012
Are you Hubbed up?
Me human Richard, along with some chums, has set up another new business...
Why he should want to do it is beyond me. He's already most un-woofer like with all his running around. He should learn to chillax more... rather like his furry friend. (That's me).
That's all by the by - he's set up this community based magazine... which has grown arms and legs and now encompasses loads of stuff.
So let's start at the top:
The magazine. It's an A5 job and I know what you're thinking, 'cos I was thinking the same thing meself: there are a few of these mags about. Apparently, this one is a bit different though. It carries more local interest stories than may be some other mags, with features on Local Heroes and Business Spotlights as well as other local stuff.
It looks good, too... although that's nuffing to do with Richard, that's all Colin at wwwgingersnapdesign.co.uk
It has to be said that advertising is pretty good value, too. That's because the team ain't trying to make money, just cover the costs.
And that's not all...
The mag is being backed up by a website as well. Apparently it's being built as we speak but you can see the latest mags on the site: www.thehub-community.com. The website will promote local businesses but will also have info about the location where you're based (so far there's Musselburgh and Corstorphine, but there'll be others, too). It's also going to have 'living history' pages: very exciting and more about that later.
There are other things in the pipeline: like an i-phone app and networking events for local businesses. But the point is: what do you want to see on a local site like this?
More doggy stuff I'd imagine.
Answers on a postcard or, better still, an email to richard@thehub-community.com
So let's start at the top:
The magazine. It's an A5 job and I know what you're thinking, 'cos I was thinking the same thing meself: there are a few of these mags about. Apparently, this one is a bit different though. It carries more local interest stories than may be some other mags, with features on Local Heroes and Business Spotlights as well as other local stuff.
It looks good, too... although that's nuffing to do with Richard, that's all Colin at wwwgingersnapdesign.co.uk
It has to be said that advertising is pretty good value, too. That's because the team ain't trying to make money, just cover the costs.
And that's not all...
The mag is being backed up by a website as well. Apparently it's being built as we speak but you can see the latest mags on the site: www.thehub-community.com. The website will promote local businesses but will also have info about the location where you're based (so far there's Musselburgh and Corstorphine, but there'll be others, too). It's also going to have 'living history' pages: very exciting and more about that later.
There are other things in the pipeline: like an i-phone app and networking events for local businesses. But the point is: what do you want to see on a local site like this?
More doggy stuff I'd imagine.
Answers on a postcard or, better still, an email to richard@thehub-community.com
Monday, 23 July 2012
Do you know what... I've got into modelling recently.
Oh, I know I always look good but this professional modelling is different. It's almost like hard work. I mean, someone kept throwing me a sausage and then I'd have to hold a pose for ages... at least a second.
Why not look me up on Facebook, you can find me here:
http://www.facebook.com/barneytaxassist
I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave a message, ask a questions (I promise to answer in my doggy style) or simply Like the page.
Anyway, that's not really what I want to write about today. Nope, I have a different feline in me fur.
I live in Morningside and I have to say the walk through Morningside and Bruntsfield is one of me favourites. There are loads of local shops, smells, places to eat, The Meadows, Henriks Bar where they even let me humans in for a drink and lunch.
But I'm worried for the area and the reason I'm worried is... Sainsbury's.
It all started a few years ago with Tesco's on Holy Corner. No-one really noticed and actually one express store like that was probably a good thing. There's always the missing dental sticks and biscuits that need to be bought.
But then Peckhams, next door to Montpeliers, closed. There was a pause of a couple of weeks before the signs went up and then it became public... it was Sainsbury's going in there. I wasn't happy but, okay, I suppose one more of these mini supermarkets I could live with.
But now, they've taken the scaffolding down from the rebuilt building opposite the Canny Mann's and... OMG it's another Sainsbury's. We don't need another one!
How long before the local shops begin to feel the squeeze?
Now, I know they have to compete in the modern world and, of course they should. But they can't compete with laziness, even if they win hands down on service, quality and sometimes price. The problem is it's just so easy to whip into Sainsbury's. You know where everything is and you don't have to interact with anyone.
But please, peeps, make just a little bit of extra effort and keep using the local shops to make sure Morningside and Bruntsfield stay vibrant... we don't need another one of these express 'local' stores.
Oh, I know I always look good but this professional modelling is different. It's almost like hard work. I mean, someone kept throwing me a sausage and then I'd have to hold a pose for ages... at least a second.
Why not look me up on Facebook, you can find me here:
http://www.facebook.com/barneytaxassist
I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave a message, ask a questions (I promise to answer in my doggy style) or simply Like the page.
Anyway, that's not really what I want to write about today. Nope, I have a different feline in me fur.
I live in Morningside and I have to say the walk through Morningside and Bruntsfield is one of me favourites. There are loads of local shops, smells, places to eat, The Meadows, Henriks Bar where they even let me humans in for a drink and lunch.
But I'm worried for the area and the reason I'm worried is... Sainsbury's.
It all started a few years ago with Tesco's on Holy Corner. No-one really noticed and actually one express store like that was probably a good thing. There's always the missing dental sticks and biscuits that need to be bought.
But then Peckhams, next door to Montpeliers, closed. There was a pause of a couple of weeks before the signs went up and then it became public... it was Sainsbury's going in there. I wasn't happy but, okay, I suppose one more of these mini supermarkets I could live with.
But now, they've taken the scaffolding down from the rebuilt building opposite the Canny Mann's and... OMG it's another Sainsbury's. We don't need another one!
How long before the local shops begin to feel the squeeze?
Now, I know they have to compete in the modern world and, of course they should. But they can't compete with laziness, even if they win hands down on service, quality and sometimes price. The problem is it's just so easy to whip into Sainsbury's. You know where everything is and you don't have to interact with anyone.
But please, peeps, make just a little bit of extra effort and keep using the local shops to make sure Morningside and Bruntsfield stay vibrant... we don't need another one of these express 'local' stores.
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